January 31

Devan Kelsey Spencer girls sitting behind me in math class... "so I can't hang out tonight cause I'm going ring shopping with my best friend." "Oh fun, are you going with her and her fiance?" "No, he's not coming." "Oh. Did he like give you a limit or anything?" "No, she can pick out whatever ring she wants."
January 31 at 9:36pm

Joe Edler Avid fan talking to a bunch of other fans: " hey i have a big gaping vag, but then again, what zoob doesnt?"
January 31 at 8:38pm

Devin Stoker Guy talking to girl while walking in the library: "Come on, just touch it. I promise it's not as hairy as my toe."
January 31 at 7:47pm

Jennie Terry Kid reading newspaper ad for soda pop sale on Sunday, "That's 29 cents for a can of damnation."
January 31 at 5:49pm

Kathryn Hansen Two guys walking out of a bathroom:
Guy one: Ya man, I'm just going to freaking ask her
Guy two: ya bro! just do it
Guy one: I'll just be like listen! Do you wanna cuddle, or not?
January 31 at 5:16pm

Stephanie Michelle Robinson Living Prophets teacher asks, "Do you know who called and offered our football coach his job?"
The kid sitting behind me whispers, "Jesus!"
January 31 at 4:50pm

Ethan Taylor Marston "Now, when I say personal favorite I don't mean for eating, I mean for putting in vacuum chambers." - Dr. Sevy, chem teacher
January 31 at 11:44am


Robert E Jackson "Dude! That's tight! Like unto a dish!"
January 31 at 1:51am


Rémy Catherine Morgan Dr. Bergeson: So as you're accelerating upwards in an elevator, the
floor exerts a force on you. And you should be really glad it does or
else you would crash through the floor and go down down down down...
down.. all the way to the testing center. Because we all know that's
where it is. "Welcome to Hell! Here's your #2 pencil!"
January 31 at 1:42am

Jenny Longenecker Two guys at a football game: "It's all about commitment. It's like marriage! You just gotta do it!"
January 31 at 1:13am

William Lange Some girl walking behind me: "You know, I just can't wait to get married and have some babies!"
January 31 at 12:42am